In a busy and demanding world full of obligations and opportunities, we sometimes lose connection in our primary relationships, thinking they will tend to themselves. They don’t.
In these present days where many are working and schooling at home twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, complacency and irritation can become a normal way of being.
The skill In long-term relationships is understanding that the dance of intimacy involves coming together and moving apart. In a new relationship, intense periods of closeness are important to establish the ground of a new union. When a relationship is established, the individuals begin to turn their attention outward again, to the other parts of their lives, such as work, family, and friendships. This is natural.
Here is what I see happening... circumstances put pressure on relationships. Intimacy and affection fades, not because people don’t care anymore, but from weariness, boredom, loss of freedom and choices, loss of connection with nature, family, friends and people, plus the reality of grieving your life outside of your present boundaries.
Intimacy is more than sex, and affection more than ‘I love you’ words. The skill is understanding that the dance of intimacy involves both togetherness and separation. Together is not a mumbled ‘mornin’ between the slurps of coffee but rather, turning towards one another with the same curiosity, and nurturing attention of earlier times. The attraction that initially brought you together is the most likely magnet that will keep you together. You must both and within the family, keep that magnetism activated.
Speak about your day, your feelings. Verbally acknowledge your partner's kindness, thoughtfulness...always say please and an audible thank you. Keep your relationship healthy and thriving. It’s not difficult but sometimes it’s not easy either.
Keep that magnetism activated.
Remember, in long-term relationship the skill is understanding that the dance of intimacy involves moving together, moving apart and always in rhythm with each other. If ever you feel distanced, or a gap is happening – communicate. Communication with empathy, a willingness to understand and an attitude of ‘how can I nurture’, brings you together again.
Sylvia Marina