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Articles

STOP COMPROMISE

Sylvia Marina - Thursday, May 07, 2015

STOP COMPROMISE written by Sylvia Marina

Most people, compromise their self to varying degrees on a daily basis just to “keep the peace” and to avoid confrontation.

If we look at ourselves honestly most will see that we often don’t honor and value what we truly think, feel, want and need, because we’re afraid to or we don’t know how to or, and here’s the big one, we don’t feel that we deserve.

One of the hardest lessons to learn in life is how to have your needs met, while at the same time being loving, compassionate and willing to engage in give and take. If you use compromise to avoid these intimate relationship lessons, you are perpetuating an unhealthy dynamic that will destroy you and your relationships leaving you empty, lonely, sad and alone.

For those who never learnt to love their self, they continue to carry feelings that relate to inadequate, insecure, underserving and unworthy of love, constantly feeling abandoned. Unaddressed this leads to self-abandonment, betraying the self and attracting more situations and relationships where you feel used, unappreciated, worthless, undervalued and unworthy to those around as well as to yourself.

Unresolved this leads to self-loathing, separation and depression.

When people are faced with losing someone or something that they are desperate to keep they begin compromising to keep the relationship, career or business in an unhealthy way.

Too many grew up accepting that to have ones needs met, they must give up something in return. That’s unhealthy compromise.

In intimate relationships, when does the act of compromising begin to have negative effect? It’s when you close off, are weak, mute and-or unable to express your needs in a healthy manner. It’s when you lose your identity and become the shadow of another or situation.

In my professional work, I see many who compromise their self in almost every relationship because of an unconscious belief that in order to be supported and accepted, attended to and approved of, they must always please.

I’ve seen compromise being used as a substitute to have the other person or party think they are trying and self-sacrificing when actually they are manipulating to their own advantage. If you are using compromise as a tool to win, be seen as the good person, to win a battle or be the dominant one in a competitive type relationship, then it must end.

Often these patterns were set-up in childhood, sometimes carried on a paternal or maternal genetic DNA code. Consequently, the constant compromising and put-downs sabotage our freedom, depriving us of true happiness, natural wellness and joyful abundance.

Here is what I have seen happen.
Not until people allow someone else to treat them horribly to the point they feel worthless or valueless that they realize their approach to their self and their life needs to change.

Why wait until...have the courage to change now.

2015© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER
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