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Re-IGNITE THE FLAME OF DESIRE

Sylvia Marina - Friday, November 21, 2014

Re-IGNITE THE FLAME OF DESIRE

Her voice was very faint, so I leant a little closer.

Four decades of marriage, adult children, grandchildren, magnificent home…everything appearing perfect, but she is sad, desperately sad, lonely, feels useless, friend-less and desolate.

Friend-less?
Yes, he was her best friend and she would like that to happen again - but how?

This is not an isolated case. My client sought me with a reoccurring digestion problem.

Her marriage had many worthwhile aspects and times of content, but truthfully, hidden beneath, an ever-present silence and suffering of worthlessness. Smothered in the virtue of kindness (he wants to be involved and now does all the shopping and cooking) her role as family nurturer little by little disappeared.

In many cultures, when a women marries she forfeits her career to be the homemaker, an altruistic vocation. For most this arrangement works well. To others it is a sacrifice, many feel their intelligences are not being challenged or stimulated. The routine of life becomes stagnant. Boredom weaves a pattern of worthlessness - the flame of desire extinguished, love becomes a word and for many the beginning of the path to separate lives.

HOW TO Re-IGNITE THE FLAME OF DESIRE…

1. Create new habits and recreate the old ones that you are missing.

Do something different - meet him/her for lunch     

Once a week get up earlier and serve breakfast outside or pack a basket and go for an early morning picnic - together.

Offer compliments - notice and compliment at least once a day.

  • what they wear
  • what they did - it is so easy to take home chores for granted
  • wait for them to open the door, say thank you.

While it’s easy to try these ideas once or twice - the truth is you must put consistent effort if you want positive results.

My client resented the fact that her role in the home had been taken over - he however thought he was being helpful.

2. Frequently check your attitude.

Its so easy to be apathetic. Apathy is a state of indifference. Over time all relationships change. What is sad is when acknowledgements happen without feeling or effort, without interest, instead just stale, lifeless words or actions. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical and/or physical life and the world - don’t let this be you.

  • touch as you pass
  • listen to the tone of your voice
  • choose words that inspire, love, grace and thoughtfulness

Become interested in life again.

  • Begin meeting your ‘almost forgotten’ friends for coffee
  • join tennis, squash, golf, art, music ….

Remember it’s easy to try these ideas once or twice - we must put consistent effort for long-term positive results. Stop, the status quo. If your relationship with your ‘special’ person is boring do something about it today.

3. Create fun.

When did you date him/her. Don’t wait for the other to ask. try new and interesting…

  • book a cooking class
  • hand in hand stroll the zoo, the beach, river, lake, forest…
  • hit a theme park - just the two of you
  • go bowling
  • check the calendar for the next full moon - have a picnic supper while watching the moon rise!

Will any of these suggestions work?
Yes, your renewed awareness and daily effort will lead you to getting the love and attention YOU want, in the way YOU want it.

If you are suffering from physical or emotional heart pain, if your body is rejecting nourishment or you find yourself consumed by anger and resentment, know it doesn’t have to be this way – not a moment longer.

2014© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                             
E:   info@sylviamarina.com | W: www.sylviamarina.com
FB: http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2

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