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Articles

LOOK GOOD FEEL GOOD

Sylvia Marina - Sunday, September 21, 2014

LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD

Life can be tough sometimes.

Yesterday morning I was at our breakfast table chewing over the oats with a friend, when the conversation moved to the late 1980’s when she worked in the building near Cloisters Arcade in Perth, Western Australia. She and I were strangers to each other at that time – it was many years before we formerly met and another many years before a friendship began.

A that time, parallel to her office, I was contracted to present a stress management series called ‘look good, feel good’. I walked into a room of corporate ‘blokes’.

Outside of this government office and without a name tag these men looked the same as any other male in their casual business outfits. They looked good.

Behind the veneer was anger, disillusionment, sadness, quandary, despair! The promise of life-long career carried a sense of security, UNTIL, the restructure of the telecommunications service providers. 

These people looked good, but didn’t feel good and when I worked closely with them I witnessed moments when they ‘let their guard down’, the sadness in their eyes reflected the desolation felt within.

‘It can be hard to keep a smile on your face.’
Those were the words this week of my client, a young mother and cancer patient.

It is true, life can be tough, some times it is hard to keep a smile on your face. Sometimes it is hard to feel. Shrouded in numbness, feeling has no feeling, love is just a word, joy a distant tolling bell.

I was deeply saddened this week with the alarming number of people who voluntarily ended their life. It was for this reason that in 1989 I was presenting that ‘life management’ series and many such programs since.

Before you reach for something to numb the inner pain and conflict, I will share from my little book called ‘Laugh with Life’.

“Love is a gift we give ourselves. It is a myth thinking that love is a gift another gives to you. People spend their entire lives directing love to another person, a cause or a community, for it to be of value there must be a recipient.”

Love is a feeling, a knowing. But sometimes for our dear friends, the feeling button just isn’t working!

Dear friends,     Train your mind to be strong and focused.
                        
Your breath to go in deep, allow life to be a celebration. 
                        Make a commitment… whenever your eyes are down, life them up.
                        
Remember, your little cheeks can smile, inside them are little cells,
                        
Like tiny people living there… smiling at crazy situations.  Sylvia Marina 1989

I hope my writing today will help you to recognize that not everyone who ‘looks good, feels good’.
 
We are clever primates who have the ability to camouflage deep hurts – if you see a patch of vagueness, a slight dimness in the eyes, reach out. Don’t ask ‘can I help you’ a more effective use of words could be, ‘how can I support you’.

Cook a cake, make their favorite meal, share a gardening day – I have a client who with three friends spends half a day a month in one or the other’s garden – that’s support.
This ritual began when one of the friends, withdrew from the monthly morning coffee group. She was remembered as saying, I used to enjoy my garden but I’ve lost interest – it’s too lonely. Thanks to the love of friends, years later - weed free!

2014© Sylvia Marina ND., EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER E: info@sylviamarina.com | www.sylviamarina.com | http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2 Positively Changing Lives. The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.


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