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Articles

JOYS & GRIEF

Sylvia Marina - Tuesday, March 29, 2016

JOYS & GRIEF written by Sylvia Marina ND.

As I write it is early morning, the dawn has a light autumn feel, the birds are making happy chirping sounds in our garden. My heart is so full of love and gratitude for everyone and everything I have in my life.

Sunday was my birthday and in our part of the world we celebrated Easter weekend. Beautiful invitations happened, dear Kez invited us to have dinner with her family and friends and in her words, “for more than twenty years I have wanted to sit at the same table as Sylvia”. I was choked with the delight of someone desiring to have my company and creating the opportunity to make it happen.

Why wait soooo long... when the time is right, when spirit energy aligns for our loves and new lessons to happen – often we don’t know why we wait to make desires happen – for me, my heart is joyous...we relaxed, shared stories, laughed and created memories. 

It was not only Easter and Birthday, it is the beginning of a year in which I intend to celebrate life...through my work, my many loves and interests, family and friends.

I am deeply aware that whilst this has personally been a time of great joy, many are going through sorrow and grief. 

Grief is an inevitable part of life but that doesn’t make navigating it any easier. Along with a crew of volunteers, I chair the International Grief Support Foundation Inc. this group was founded in the year 2000. 

The deep sorrow that accompanies the death of a loved one, the end of a marriage, the loss of a pet, career, money, lifestyle, a diagnosis or trauma, loss of health and life energy vibrancy, loss of a dream or business, separation, divorce or even moving far away from home or your birthplace, is real. While grief is universal, we all grieve differently. 

Grief is normal and natural and therefore not a disorder, a phobia, a depression... or anxiety. Grief is natural. 

Through the many years I specialized with supporting people through their Cancers, the patients and their families acknowledged the work of Elisabeth Kubler-Ross as she described her theory in her book the five stages of death/grief.

1) Denial
2) Anger
3) Bargaining
4) Depression
5) Acceptance.

Each of these stages can happen within seconds, minutes, days, weeks or longer – denial that the ‘news’ or diagnosis has happened to anger that it happened to them, and in tragedy, searching for someone or something to blame, to bargaining with god, medical and for miracles, signs of depression includes silence, forgetfulness, mind blanking, frozen in fear, separating oneself from family  & society, to acceptance of the reality.

I always remind people to be kind to their-self and remember there is no time-frame to grief – neither is it something to get-over. 

When I was a young mother, I experienced the loss of an unborn baby. At that time, I had another life to move into, another child to care for and well meaning people who said...just move on it wasn’t supposed to be! 

I recognized people were trying to help me...what happened was delayed grief – fifteen years later I had an occurrence that triggered a tsunami of grief, the amassed sorrow of suppressed grief. It felt like every part of my body had been holding the grief and as I uncontrollably cried, everywhere in my body where the grief had been held now released pain.

It was months of physical pain and emotional sorrow till that ‘one day’ I walked into a little church and sat in silence, searching for and surrendering to the place of solace. 

Later that day, just before sunset I went to the river, a place called Deepwater Point where I mentally released the pain – it never returned – that day was my day of, acceptance.

Could I have released the grief earlier...possibly. However, throughout the years, I had not the awareness that I was still carrying the sadness.

What I learnt, we all grieve differently.

2016© SYLVIA MARINA. ND. 

Human Behaviour Specialist & Speaker

Sylvia can be reached at +61 (0) 412 198 612 

Email: info@sylviamarina.com          http://www.sylviamarina.com

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

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Enabling people to live a life free from emotional pain and trauma.


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