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ARE YOU THERE YET?

Monday, February 09, 2015

ARE YOU THERE YET?  written by Sylvia Marina

A few days ago driving to the seaside town of Rockingham, a little voice from the back seat asks…are we there yet? I remember when my children did that and when I was young us kids said those very same words…are we there yet?
Possibly every child has asked that question!

Perhaps on many levels of self-growth we still do ask that same question – Are we there yet?

How often in the journey of life do you look in your mirror and question yourself…

  • Are You Living Your Dream or Just Dreaming?
  • Are You Being Your Authentic Self?
  • Are You Being Who Others Expect You To Be?
  • Are You Looking For A Role Model?
  • Are You Looking For Someone To Tell You….
    How To DO Your Life?

The real question is, how do we stop being who we genuinely aren’t.
How do we relieve our-self of the false fronts of people pleasing.
How do we stop the obsessive need for place and power?

Instead of secretly asking ‘am I there yet’.
Stop comparing and agonizing where you think you are at.
Stop comparing with where you perceive another to be on the ‘social or career, spiritual awakening, self-growth emotional development’.

If you have this behaviour…It’s well past time to break out of your emotional Spandex that keeps you contained, insignificantly and small.

Contained within the emotional Spandex your ‘big picture’ dream/vision can-not eventuate. Women in history wore tightly laced-up under-garments – living to the expectations of society, living to please others.

Perhaps it feels like a safe place to be! While you stay squished in that little space you’ll remain the dreamer…that is if ‘in-there’ there’s room to dream! OR you can break-out and start having fun, being genuine, being your authentic self whilst delivering your gifts and talents to the world – just by being your authentic self!

Replace fear with calm and certainty.
Learn that all challenges contain hidden treasures.
Live a life that matters. Live a life of meaning.
You have a purpose, connect to your true purpose – if you need a guide, choose me…
You will learn a new depth of inner happiness and a freedom…
inner joy and a ‘beyond words inner peace’.
 
2015© Sylvia Marina ND., EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER E:   info@sylviamarina.com | W: www.sylviamarina.com
FB:
http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

NOW IS A GOOD TIME

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

NOW IS A GOOD TIME?  written by Sylvia Marina

Hugh Laurie said….“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” … and I agree.

This weekend I was totally in the moment, fully enjoying presenting class to people who were eager to make change in their life. It’s not for the faint hearted we decided but it is for those who are ready to embrace new!

The age old wisdom book states examples in nature, there is a time to sow and a time to reap, a time when the seed is ready to become the plant, a time when the future calls “now”, a time when an idea, a dream, a yearning desire is ripe for activation.

Getting started is what stops people from fulfilling their heart desires, emotional desires, relationship and intimacy desire.

The words private clients often tell say …

“life’s too hard”… meaning change is too hard.
“I don’t want to be on my own anymore” but I don’t know how to do or have different.

My relationship, career, business is okay but not fulfilling my emotional needs or desires.

It’s a risk to reach out for love, the new career, relationship, intimacy – the risk of rejection, the risk of more emotional pain and disappointment all the while living with pain, often painful crippling pain, afraid or not sure, scared or timid…

Friends, if afraid or not sure, scared or timid is stealing your dreams, holding you stuck or keeping you lonely, poor or fearing the future, you’ve a  ‘courage or know how’ deficiency.

Friends, if you are afraid or unsure, perhaps scared or timid emotions are stealing your dreams, or keeping you lonely, you are poor or fearing the future… any one of these and you are suffering from a  ‘courage or know how’ deficiency.

A life of stress and misery becomes a depressing choice.

Life is a series of choices, being free from stress is one of those choices.

  • Stop being constantly “on the prowl”
  • Stop gathering stuff
  • Stop hunting for the next thrill to fill the void!
  • Stop harboring an aching heart
  • Stop hiding behind excuses

Do an internal soul searching audit – discover what it is your soul desires? And… Do it. Do it now!

2015© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                             
E:   info@sylviamarina.com | W: www.sylviamarina.com
FB: http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

 

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT

Monday, January 05, 2015

GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT. written by Sylvia Marina

Early morning I woke in a beautiful meditation with the voice of wisdom clearly stating…

‘This year is about Spiritual Integration and healing with profound results - connecting to love, power, passion like never before experienced. 

Dear friends, too many people are living in relationships that return little or no joy, they do work that fills their pockets with money but leave their hearts yearning for more and their soul empty.

In public life people put a smile on their face whilst enduring loneliness in their heart.

Mid year my husband David and & I went to New Zealand to visit with family and stayed a few extra days to go to my mountains and lakes in the South Island where I restored my soul and made life change decisions.

Sitting in the energy of Mt Cook, my maternal mountain in New Zealand, the energy of my ancestors were very real – the call to take my work to a higher-plane was very clear. With my mountain I wept many tears of sorrow, feelings of responsibility and also gratitude that I was being ‘called’ by spirit energy to guide people to “Getting The Love They Want”.

The past six months I have devoted enormous time and energy designing a totally new program, “Getting The Love You Want”. The techniques I engage in this program I have worked for many years with private clients but never publicly presented them.

It is everyone’s birth-right to feel loved and be worthy.

  • Worthy of Love
  • Worthy of Wealth and Prosperity
  • Worthy of Vitality
  • Worthy to Trust Love Again
  • Worthy to be Included
  • Worthy to be Loved and Cherished

Countless people live their lives carrying hidden barriers in their subconscious and genetic memory that silently holds them back from accessing and fulfilling their dreams or igniting their desires.

For many years of my life, I yearned to know love, to feel included, to be where I belonged… and now -

Everyday I am loved and every day, even when alone I feel that love. 

It is everyone’s birth-right to know love and that is why this week I am launching “Getting The Love You Want”.

Go here to reserve your place to “Getting The Love You Want” training.

2015© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                             
E:   info@sylviamarina.com | W: www.sylviamarina.com
FB: http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

BE PRESENT

Saturday, December 13, 2014

BE PRESENT written by Sylvia Marina

Written on a chalkboard today I read, “be present”. I smiled and from my heart a silent whisper of gratitude. Who-ever wrote that message today, thank you!

For a moment my day seemed to stand still.
My attention went to my feet and in particular how they seemed to make contact with the earth!
And in that instant my mind recalled the writing of Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching.
 
In dwelling, live close to the ground.
In thinking, keep it simple.
In conflict, be fair and generous,
In governing, don’t control.
In work, do what you enjoy.
In family life, be fully present.

Our lives today are full of concerns, busy, rushed.
It’s a human trait, physically present but mentally some place else.

This week in our city, there was a little boy lost. Hundreds of people came from near and far to join the search. In our hearts he became part of us – for a short while he became our little boy. People who don’t normally pray, prayed, people who don’t often sing, search and sang his favorite song hoping he may hear them. We were focused and present.

One of the sweetest gifts we can give to others is to be mentally present anytime we are together, when they are speaking or in times of silence togetherness.
It is a discipline to stay present, we need to live our life while it’s happening rather than after or obsessing about the future. So often in thought we are some place else, not totally listening to what is being said, instead thinking of what to say next, that’s not really being present is it!

It’s December, in our culture traditionally it is a time for expressions of love and appreciations. And the closer we come to Christmas can we remember, more important than the gifts under the Christmas tree are those gathered around the tree, the non gift wrapped expressions of love, the remembrances of those who are dear to your hearts.

Remember too, those who are alone. Those who may be struggling with loneliness, grief, health, finances, reach out – be present.

Recall the new best friend, we give them our focused attention. Then time passes, unconsciously we go back to where we were, and we drift away. This not only happens with new acquaintance the same ‘drift away’ can happen with loved ones when we don’t stay consciously present.

Today written on a chalkboard I read, “be present”.
I paused, took a deep breath and wrote in my heart - “be present”.
My gift to you today, "be present".

2014© Sylvia Marina ND., EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                              
E: info@sylviamarina.com | www.sylviamarina.com | http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2
This article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are accurately included.

CHANGE ALWAYS HAPPENS

Monday, December 01, 2014

CHANGE ALWAYS HAPPENS

It is just a few days to the full moon!

Have you noticed that change always happens on the full and new moon?

By invitation I’ve been working with people who are having difficulty with change. Some feeling stuck and working together they come to the realisation they are sabotaging their desires.

Others are ready for change and after a few minutes acknowledge repetitive patterns that have in the past led to sorrow. 

Before you undertake any change in your life, seriously analyse the impact that change will have.  This process of analysing the impact of the change is a valuable tool in effecting change.

Analysing is a successful left-brain activity…for breakthrough and long-term value you need more!

You must add imagination. Imagination is the skill to engage outside old patterns and behaviour and bring healthier, enhanced ideas which opens to breakthrough and empowerment.

When you engage your imagination and unleash your intuition and actually place yourself in the vision of what you want to do or become, you begin to feel your worth from a heart-centred place of love and joy.

Before you take that leap of faith designing your 2015 vision, you must ensure your purpose and vision is aligned with your principals and values. When this happens you bring your new vision into wisdom. That’s being on purpose!

Where to start?
In the past you have possible begun with writing lists of what you want to achieve. Not any more.

With all the change and shifts that have been happening we must all refocus.

Begin with a short list of fifty-to-one-hundred of your absolute values. Prioritise these to twenty, then prioritise again to your top ten – these are your highest values.

Now, begin to list your dreams, desires, wants and wishes for 2015.

All that align without compromise to your highest values – you can achieve.

Now, bring your new vision into wisdom and you will be “on purpose”!

2014© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                             
E:   info@sylviamarina.com | W: www.sylviamarina.com
FB: http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

Re-IGNITE THE FLAME OF DESIRE

Friday, November 21, 2014

Re-IGNITE THE FLAME OF DESIRE

Her voice was very faint, so I leant a little closer.

Four decades of marriage, adult children, grandchildren, magnificent home…everything appearing perfect, but she is sad, desperately sad, lonely, feels useless, friend-less and desolate.

Friend-less?
Yes, he was her best friend and she would like that to happen again - but how?

This is not an isolated case. My client sought me with a reoccurring digestion problem.

Her marriage had many worthwhile aspects and times of content, but truthfully, hidden beneath, an ever-present silence and suffering of worthlessness. Smothered in the virtue of kindness (he wants to be involved and now does all the shopping and cooking) her role as family nurturer little by little disappeared.

In many cultures, when a women marries she forfeits her career to be the homemaker, an altruistic vocation. For most this arrangement works well. To others it is a sacrifice, many feel their intelligences are not being challenged or stimulated. The routine of life becomes stagnant. Boredom weaves a pattern of worthlessness - the flame of desire extinguished, love becomes a word and for many the beginning of the path to separate lives.

HOW TO Re-IGNITE THE FLAME OF DESIRE…

1. Create new habits and recreate the old ones that you are missing.

Do something different - meet him/her for lunch     

Once a week get up earlier and serve breakfast outside or pack a basket and go for an early morning picnic - together.

Offer compliments - notice and compliment at least once a day.

  • what they wear
  • what they did - it is so easy to take home chores for granted
  • wait for them to open the door, say thank you.

While it’s easy to try these ideas once or twice - the truth is you must put consistent effort if you want positive results.

My client resented the fact that her role in the home had been taken over - he however thought he was being helpful.

2. Frequently check your attitude.

Its so easy to be apathetic. Apathy is a state of indifference. Over time all relationships change. What is sad is when acknowledgements happen without feeling or effort, without interest, instead just stale, lifeless words or actions. An apathetic individual has an absence of interest in or concern about emotional, social, spiritual, philosophical and/or physical life and the world - don’t let this be you.

  • touch as you pass
  • listen to the tone of your voice
  • choose words that inspire, love, grace and thoughtfulness

Become interested in life again.

  • Begin meeting your ‘almost forgotten’ friends for coffee
  • join tennis, squash, golf, art, music ….

Remember it’s easy to try these ideas once or twice - we must put consistent effort for long-term positive results. Stop, the status quo. If your relationship with your ‘special’ person is boring do something about it today.

3. Create fun.

When did you date him/her. Don’t wait for the other to ask. try new and interesting…

  • book a cooking class
  • hand in hand stroll the zoo, the beach, river, lake, forest…
  • hit a theme park - just the two of you
  • go bowling
  • check the calendar for the next full moon - have a picnic supper while watching the moon rise!

Will any of these suggestions work?
Yes, your renewed awareness and daily effort will lead you to getting the love and attention YOU want, in the way YOU want it.

If you are suffering from physical or emotional heart pain, if your body is rejecting nourishment or you find yourself consumed by anger and resentment, know it doesn’t have to be this way – not a moment longer.

2014© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                             
E:   info@sylviamarina.com | W: www.sylviamarina.com
FB: http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

IN THE BEGINNING

Thursday, October 16, 2014

IN THE BEGINNING

As you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, have you ever desired that experience somewhere else! Of course, remember the best car you ever bought, your first love, the best employee…and you moved on!

Every relationship has a cycle.
The universe determines who walks into your life, you determine who you let stay.

I recently read, sustaining love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy.

I don’t agree. Love is not difficult. Love just is.

What happens through life, we grow, we have a voice, and sometimes we even become involved in control? This is caustic behavior if what you seek is a joyful relationship.
Anything that is different to your way of thinking can be read as wrong.
That’s a silly interpretation of love, that’s just looking from a different point of perspective.

Different isn’t wrong. Different is exciting, your intelligences are calling ‘what next can I learn’. When you are not open to new learning any challenge, question, or inquiry is interpreted as ‘he/she doesn’t love me anymore.            
If your personal self-love, if your intimate relationship is connected to belonging then what is being challenged is your place in the great tapestry of life.

When your sense of ‘belonging’ is challenged, you begin to withdraw from your partner’s physical touch, you decide you no longer wish to have a personal or business relationship with that person, you begin looking somewhere else. The end of one cycle signifies the beginning of another. Is what you want frequent new relationships, if so you are incessantly seeking new euphoria. This can be an addiction.

Different isn’t wrong, but indifference is destructive.

Kindness, caring, patience, grace are delicate components that entwine and nurture relationships.

When your love is infinite love you are assured in your relationship.
You are open and hold space for meaningful conversation, even with controversial topics your are brave and graceful, you state your need of more education and understanding. You ask ‘tell me more’ and your partner is love and delight in that moment of sharing.

Infinite love is pure, open, vulnerable, precious. 
Sharing, learning and understanding is the journey, here and now with those you love.

2014© Sylvia Marina ND., EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                             
E: info@sylviamarina.com | www.sylviamarina.com | http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2 The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

SYNCHRONICITY & COMMITMENT

Sunday, September 28, 2014

SYNCHRONICITY & COMMITMENT.

Synchronicity!  I’m fascinated as to the energies in life and how that a conversation or thought provides validation within seconds.

A few minutes before a ‘brief with thoughtful pauses’ conversation, happened like this…I want to BUT.

Just seconds after ending that conversation, an email message from Neale Donald Walsch, quoted these words, “there is no abiding success without commitment.”

He wrote…
Do you want to be healthier,    or do you just say you do?
Do you want to be happier,      or do you just say you do?

Words are easy to say, but without commitment, nothing positive actually happens, instead disappointment, and failure again!

Commitment is focus, commitment is about being honest – everyday, every moment of every day, continuous and always. It’s big and simple and complicated and easy.

To be truly, honest with our dreams and goals, we must be decisive, direct and devoted.
I am on a project and there have been times when, life managed to put my project ‘on hold’. Commitment is the dedicated choice to give up other competing choices.

Neale wrote…
Do you want to be nicer,          or do you just say you do?
Do you want to be more patient, or do you just say you do?

Being in agreement with our dreams and creating a time frame to those concepts brings them into being a possibility a goal. Being committed to our goals is simple. 

Neale asks…
Do you want to be lighter,       or do you just say you do?
What do you really want...        and who are you kidding about that?

The trouble with commitment, it’s easy not to.
It is easy not to commit, not to follow through?  

Real commitment takes courage, sometimes sacrifice, certainly perseverance.
I challenge you to…make a commitment, write that book, do that course, make the change, and commit your intelligences to keep you on track.

Yes, you do have intelligences and I guarantee to show you how to wake them up and get on track when you, work with me.

2014© Sylvia Marina ND., EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER                              E: info@sylviamarina.com | www.sylviamarina.com | http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2 The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

LOOK GOOD FEEL GOOD

Sunday, September 21, 2014

LOOK GOOD, FEEL GOOD

Life can be tough sometimes.

Yesterday morning I was at our breakfast table chewing over the oats with a friend, when the conversation moved to the late 1980’s when she worked in the building near Cloisters Arcade in Perth, Western Australia. She and I were strangers to each other at that time – it was many years before we formerly met and another many years before a friendship began.

A that time, parallel to her office, I was contracted to present a stress management series called ‘look good, feel good’. I walked into a room of corporate ‘blokes’.

Outside of this government office and without a name tag these men looked the same as any other male in their casual business outfits. They looked good.

Behind the veneer was anger, disillusionment, sadness, quandary, despair! The promise of life-long career carried a sense of security, UNTIL, the restructure of the telecommunications service providers. 

These people looked good, but didn’t feel good and when I worked closely with them I witnessed moments when they ‘let their guard down’, the sadness in their eyes reflected the desolation felt within.

‘It can be hard to keep a smile on your face.’
Those were the words this week of my client, a young mother and cancer patient.

It is true, life can be tough, some times it is hard to keep a smile on your face. Sometimes it is hard to feel. Shrouded in numbness, feeling has no feeling, love is just a word, joy a distant tolling bell.

I was deeply saddened this week with the alarming number of people who voluntarily ended their life. It was for this reason that in 1989 I was presenting that ‘life management’ series and many such programs since.

Before you reach for something to numb the inner pain and conflict, I will share from my little book called ‘Laugh with Life’.

“Love is a gift we give ourselves. It is a myth thinking that love is a gift another gives to you. People spend their entire lives directing love to another person, a cause or a community, for it to be of value there must be a recipient.”

Love is a feeling, a knowing. But sometimes for our dear friends, the feeling button just isn’t working!

Dear friends,     Train your mind to be strong and focused.
                        
Your breath to go in deep, allow life to be a celebration. 
                        Make a commitment… whenever your eyes are down, life them up.
                        
Remember, your little cheeks can smile, inside them are little cells,
                        
Like tiny people living there… smiling at crazy situations.  Sylvia Marina 1989

I hope my writing today will help you to recognize that not everyone who ‘looks good, feels good’.
 
We are clever primates who have the ability to camouflage deep hurts – if you see a patch of vagueness, a slight dimness in the eyes, reach out. Don’t ask ‘can I help you’ a more effective use of words could be, ‘how can I support you’.

Cook a cake, make their favorite meal, share a gardening day – I have a client who with three friends spends half a day a month in one or the other’s garden – that’s support.
This ritual began when one of the friends, withdrew from the monthly morning coffee group. She was remembered as saying, I used to enjoy my garden but I’ve lost interest – it’s too lonely. Thanks to the love of friends, years later - weed free!

2014© Sylvia Marina ND., EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER E: info@sylviamarina.com | www.sylviamarina.com | http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2 Positively Changing Lives. The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.

LIVING IN HARMONY

Saturday, August 09, 2014

LIVING IN HARMONY written by Sylvia Marina

Our society has often taught us to value others and to devalue ourselves. Yet this doesn't work for the betterment of all society. 
 

Unless we truly value ourselves, we're always looking to others for our sense of value or approval.   Consequently, this usually entails trying to manipulate them into "loving" us in some way in order for us to gain a sense of self-appreciation. 

Manipulation and control are always detrimental to relationships.  Needing the approval of others leaves our self-worth in someone else's hands.

Every interpersonal relationship is different and there is no single answer to living in harmony.

Here are eight simple tips for building great relationships.

Avoid negative talk. Relationships are often affected by the opinions and prejudice of others. Understand everyone is different, we each bring our personal and ancestral values and likes, options and dislikes and it is the responsibility of each person to focus on the positives that will help build a quality relationship.

Communicate. Keep in touch with each other’s needs. If you feel your partner or other is encroaching on your space, or making new rules, it's up to you to relay that information directly regarding the situation.

 

Deal effectively with advice, but not intrusion. When the advice is unwanted and unwelcome, just thank who-ever for their input. If appropriate indicate that your family/situation has to do what works t this point in time.

Set Limits. Some topics or rituals are out of bounds i.e. politics, sports, religion, philosophies, environmental concerns. Communication is the key.

Stay civil, no matter what. Don't let another divide you from your inner peace or become an obstacle in your relationship. Be civil and respectful when you need another to back off.

Gratitude
Always show gratitude with a positive thanks. Be aware of your words and tone and body language. Gratitude is not only saying thank you it is an attitude of gratefulness.

Overlook the little irritants. Relationships are clearly built on hundreds of little things, positive or negative. it is not usually one big thing that disrupts or damages a relationship. When there are little habits or things that irritate you or create times when you might want to roll your eyes, try to let them go. After all, there are probably things you do that seem unusual or irritating to them too.

Be Kind. Offer assistance. The older generation as with our youth has to deal with many issues you might not have encountered in your life. They may have lost a spouse or child or face declining health, the youth is coping with life changes. These new situations can present new difficulties. Be kind, ask what resource he/she requires.


Never assume.  Clear and simple, kind communication is key.


2014© Sylvia Marina ND.,
EXPERT IN HUMAN BEHAVIOUR | SPEAKER
E:
info@sylviamarina.com | www.sylviamarina.com | http://facebook.com/sylvia.marina2
Positively Changing Lives.
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.


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