TRANSFORMING DNA MEMORIES Facilitator Certification Training



Thursday, September 06, 2018


There have possibly always been distortions of truth...

Consider the example of this international children's game.
Players form a line, and the first player comes up with a message and whispers it to the ear of the second and subsequent people in the line. When the last player is reached, they announce the message they heard to the entire group. The first person then compares the original message with the final version.

Although the objective is to pass around the message without it becoming garbled along the way, part of the enjoyment is that, regardless, this usually ends up happening.
Errors accumulate in the retellings, so the statement announced by the last player differs significantly from that of the first player, usually with amusing or humorous effect.

Reasons for changes include anxiousness or impatience, erroneous corrections, the difficult-to-understand mechanism of whispering,.. And that some players ‘deliberately alter’ what is being said to guarantee a changed message by the end of the line. Ref.com

This happens in real life – it’s cruel, and is created by a cold malicious heart.

A Human Behaviour Specialist, with more than thirty years experience, I have clients from all walks of life going through stressful times because of the truth being deliberately distorted against them.

Many of my clients are in high positions of leadership, including cultural elders.

Having the truth distorted against them is a human cruelty.

Distorted truth, becomes ‘hearsay’, this tittle-tattle is created by people of perceived authority, and is passed from person to person in the community. It appears to be the truth, because of who it was originally concocted by.

It happens in the workplace, it happens in families and community.
Distorted truth becomes malignant gossip, these lies, are growing factors to emotional suffering, which too often is resulting in suicide. It is vital to know and live the truth.


 A contributing factor to why I wrote the “Masterclass, Getting The Love You Want” is this frequently asked question! 
How to create change! 

Always seek truth.
Fully know what the truth is.
Ask better questions – seek clarity.
Don’t ask the story-teller - Ask the key person/people.

Stop bullying.
There have possibly always been distortions of truth... for us to instigate CHANGE, always be truthful. Truthful GOOD HABITS come from our VALUES. 

VALUES are the guiding principles people of truth live their life by.
begin your list, review your list...

– when self-respect is low, personal truth is already distorted.
– when compassion is missing, self-passion, self-indulgence becomes obsessive.
– when the human spirit is devoid of heart-centred kindness, respect is missing.
When respect is missing people ‘pretend’ to be kind but are actually seeking emotional
insight to distort and add to their mischief making stories.

You choose your thoughts ensure they truthfully align with your values.

As a Suicide Prevention approach, question the messenger, if it sounds like someone along the line has distorted the truth – they probably have. Always-Seek-Truth. A Human Behaviour Specialist, Sylvia Marina has committed her life to the discovery of what depletes the human spirit. In her workshops she generously gives you tools to create and live the life you desire.

#SuicidePrevention #AlwaysSeekTruth.

2018© SYLVIA MARINA. ND., A Human Behaviour Specialist, international course author, master educator and conference speaker.

Join her training programs www.sylviamarina.com/calendar

T: +61 (0) 412 198 612 
E: info@sylviamarina.com W: http://www.sylviamarina.com
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.
ABN 19 724 763 97



Sunday, August 12, 2018

HEAL MEMORY– written by Sylvia Marina

Following our last newsletter, thankyou to all who wrote relating to ‘separation anxiety’. http://sylviamarina.com/_blog/Articles/post/separation-anxiety

The theme of most for not seeking help for anxiety is the fear of being labelled neurotic. Too many have been told their neurosis is all in the head. Statements like this are not helpful.

Anxiety activates one’s ‘fight, flight or freeze’ neuro-transmitters. These neurotransmitters trigger the constant release of relaxation hormones and endorphins. This can lead to a marked decrease in energy, the feeling of constant fatigue, exhaustion.

In an endeavour to cope with life people turn to stimulants, commonly sugar and caffeine.

What your body craves is sleep. Deep restful sleep that is difficult to achieve when your thoughts are constantly filled with the anxiety to achieve, combined with the fear of failure. This torment hinders people from trusting their self, they know they are intelligent but their anxiety causes their neurochemistry to become imbalanced.

I am successful in helping people identify the basis of anxieties so they can sleep peacefully, replenish their body and reset their neurotransmitters.

Many anxieties are hereditary, carried in the DNA for many generations, occasionally skipping a generation or, what is known as a ‘sleeper’ and the moment a trigger is activated the hidden anxiety actions into controlling, resulting in a chain reaction of debilitations.

The client will often say...”but I was well and able until....”
What happened?
An emotional trigger released trans-generation negative memory.

Our goal is not to forget a hurtful event or trauma, but to heal the memory so you or your client can regain their focus, strength and energy.

Human Behaviour Specialist, Sylvia Marina is the author of Self Mastery programs including “Transforming DNA Memories”. http://sylviamarina.com/Programs/Transforming-DNA-Memories.htm

Consultation bookings: http://sylviamarina.com/consultations-initial-skype-facetime

2018© SYLVIA MARINA. ND., Human Behaviour Specialist
T: +61 (0) 412 198 612
E: info@sylviamarina.com W: http://www.sylviamarina.com
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.
ABN 19 724 763 97


Thursday, July 12, 2018

SEPARATION ANXIETY – written by Sylvia Marina

Recent years I have worked increasingly with people who suffer separation anxiety.

Frequently their symptoms involve a wide range of disorders.
For example nausea, nightmares, inability to concentrate, light sensitivity, weight & skin disorders, disassociation and crying - for no apparent reason... This is not imaginary. These are trauma memories manifesting as physical symptoms contributing to health and relationship issues.

It is a privilege to do this work as I see it time and time again when connection is made to the deeper inner self each person is emotionally freed to live and express their self in their own way – it’s like for the “first time” they are free to find their true voice, authenticity and passion.

Separation Anxiety: These feelings come from...but not limited to...

  • The separation from mother at birth, specifically if the child was whisked away from the mother rather than put on her belly for the primitive reflex of attachment to be aroused by the fragrant odour of the mother’s breast.
  • Separated from or Betrayed by, the people they trust.

Separation in early childhood result in adult life feelings of “abandonment, deserted, unfulfilled.” People find difficulties in creating or fully achieving their goals. They give-up on their big dreams! They have an expectation that life will deliver more disappointment.

Many interpret the trauma of ‘betrayed’ as ‘abused.’
Not all abuse leaves physical bruises. Emotional bruises leave stains that without specific help, are difficult to evolve from.

Separation Anxiety...the silent loss of...

  • In-utero or at birth separated from a twin.
  • In-utero death of a twin.
  • An infant death.
  • Permanent separation from the birth mother –
    adoption, surrogacy...

Pain upon pain of relationship disappointment, people from this experience have feelings of hopelessness. When health challenges
happen they give up easily feeling they have nothing to fight with.

Unaware that happiness can be their way of life, they have difficulty finding a stable place of connection, they have an underlying unconscious and sometimes conscious feeling something is missing – they feel they have left something behind and are frequently checking that “they have everything.”

My heart is blest, for the many who seek my work I know their future will be easier than the painful past as they build a resilience and strength that previously was not active.

Separation Anxiety Disorder is the fear or distress that can happen to both children and adults when they think about separating from home or from the people they've become attached to.

  • First day at school – for many this is traumatic the residue of the separation leads to adults staying in employment that they hate but fear a “first day” scenario.
  • Intimacy fears, the “first time” fear often stems from early childhood, potty training or that naked feeling of being “looked over” this energy pervades their personal space, the effect being “over-looked” - not being seen.

Not all these fears come from infancy, child-hood, or deprivation of innocence; many are inherited in other words, trans-generational.

  • Further, the aspect of Separation Anxiety Disorder stems from the colonisation of land or through natural disaster loss of land, food, abundance, wealth, loss of homeland...

There is an unconscious mantra – what I have gets taken away from me. These people fear abandonment, many become hoarders. And the opposite occurs too, the person has barely enough clothes and belongings to manage life the separation disorder manifesting as – if I have nothing then it can’t be taken from me.

  • A change in lifestyle from forced separation.

A change in lifestyle often results on the loss of rituals – when the grandparents die the ritual of Sunday lunch for example often carries a silent grief, the loss often results in “the family doesn’t gather anymore, or someone overcompensates and you feel smothered.

Fortunately, where there is difficulty in finding a place to connect or belong there are new skills specifically designed to restoring your inner faith, connecting you to your highest self, equipping you with the kind of resiliency, vision and creativity that transcends ordinary human capacities so you can activate your full potential.

Simply put, you need new skills to fulfil your life’s purpose.

Sylvia has awakened countless people to their life’s meaning and purpose. She enables people from all walks of life to discover better relationships, work they love, and a passion to become catalysts for higher potential.

You can heal your life. Book your place in the Transforming DNA Memories workshop closest to you.
Consultations available– in person or via Skype or Facetime.

2018© SYLVIA MARINA. ND., Human Behaviour Specialist T: +61 (0) 412 198 612 E: info@sylviamarina.com W: http://www.sylviamarina.com Skype: sylvia.marina
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included. ABN 19 724 763 97


Tuesday, June 05, 2018

SEARCH FOR THE HERO... written by Sylvia Marina ND.

A few days ago I was humming a little tune to myself – it felt good, and more so when I connected to the lyrics -

Search for the hero inside yourself.
Search for the secrets you hide.

I whispered to my soul. What are the secrets you hide?
Are there any? Self-inquiry is healthy. Often in our workshops people speak of shame, I relate to that energy which for many years controlled my life.

At some time or other each of us have faced emotional setback, childhood trauma, a diagnosis, tragedies, rejection and a series of real and illusory sufferings.

Search for the hero inside yourself.
Until you find the key to your life.

There are times when it takes a very bright light bulb moment to create a tiny spark of courage to permit the future to be different to the past. Some feel the road to change is too long, but if we never seek change we continue to live in frustration and disappointment.

Breaking unhealthy patterns ie the pattern by which you think about your self if this is not supporting the picture of how you wish to be, then it is an unhealthy way of being.

The way you wish to be is confident, having surety in every situation. To some this may seem like a fantasy but I have seen it happen so often with people who attend our courses – they reach out for clarity or as the lyrics of the song say – until you find the key to your heart.

With assuredness we become enlightened and evolved, we only accept the love we truly deserve. We refuse to settle for lukewarm love. In any or all of our relationships including the relationship we have with our-self, lukewarm love is not sincere, genuine or truthful. It results in illusory suffering.

Love with infrequent spark is regretful, sorrowful, shame. Those in this relationship feel some love is better than no love. Lets be clear. Apathetic love makes you believe that your relationship is worth clinging on to even though it has turned or is turning into an overwhelming and emotionally draining monster.

Apathy is happening when the effort to make change seems too hard affecting relationships of health, home, intimacy, friendships.
Search for the hero inside yourself. Until you find the key to your life.

Supportive relationship(s) are liberating giving you ample opportunity to discover your entelechy, your hidden potential.

Your healing process will not fully happen until you decide to accept nothing less than positive influences in your life.

2018© SYLVIA MARINA. ND., Human Behaviour Specialist T: +61 (0) 412 198 612 E: info@sylviamarina.com W: http://www.sylviamarina.com Skype: sylvia.marina
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included. ABN 19 724 763 97



Sunday, May 06, 2018

INFLUENCES IMPACT OUR LIVES written by Sylvia Marina ND.

Raised with influences of our childhood; sounds and attitudes, songs and poetry, bedtime stories of ghosts and wolves, mealtime conversations, worry’s and fears and community gossip, love and abuse, trauma, confusion, mixed messages!

This was not the experience of everyone, however too many distressed lives with aching hearts, confusion and little self worth have sought clarity concerning their life’s purpose, relationships and the question, where do I belong? Do I belong?
Aristotle, the ancient Greek philosopher and scientist is recognised as one of the greatest intellectual figures of Western history believed everything has an innate possibility within, and that potential needs only a supportive environment to be fully expressed.

In the past therapists and good meaning friends have accused people of ‘blocking out’ or god forbid...denial, of certain events that influenced their life. Influences that you may have no conscious recall of having or being involved in – I suggest just as our intelligences are coded into our DNA, so too many negative influences and limitations were imprinted into our DNA, through ancestral maternal and paternal genetic history.

What if, those influences impacted our lives and led to a shut-down of insulted, injured or emotionally shocked/toxic organs or systems in the body and as if that part of us had been surgically removed another system surrogated for the block-out thus emotionally separating that organ, system or life-form.

In my years of professional healthcare experience, one major reason people are still searching for their life path is that they misinterpret their longings and desires – the truth is; in our unfettered knowing, we each know our life purpose. While we have parts of our self that are still ‘separate’ we keep searching. We yearn to belong...but feel empty and unfulfilled.

Multi-dimensional healthcare researchers have increasing evidence of the effects of delayed trauma on the wellbeing of certain patients.

For example; a significant number of severe burns/shock cases have within a five to seven year period of their accident, developed serious illnesses. The burns heal, the shock and scars remain.

When residue remains from childhood influence, emotional shock and/or prolonged trauma, as a pathway forward many put up a brave face, a mask, hoping life and the body will sort itself out.Until we remove the masks that hide the multi-dimensional aspects of the self, a part of you will still be unfulfilled, dissatisfied and yearning.

Many years ago in searching to understand EPI-Genetics I came across a beautiful understanding swathed in the word “entelechy”. Entelechy is the force within all living creatures to achieve their full potential. Aristotle referred to it as the "oak-ness in the acorn".

Most addictions and negative behaviours result from trauma, heartaches, distractions and disappointments that distance us from this force and limit how we grow.

As rain can bring new life to a tree scorched by years of drought, my work 'Transforming DNA Memories' helps you reconnect to the power of your entelechy so you can gently and powerfully, fully achieve your absolute potential.

2018© SYLVIA MARINA. ND. Author, Speaker & Human Behaviour Specialist
T: +61 (0) 412 198 612
E: info@sylviamarina.com W: http://www.sylviamarina.com Skype: sylvia.marinaThe contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included. ABN 19 724 763 97


Friday, March 30, 2018

DIRECTING CHANGE written by Sylvia Marina ND

It is possible to detect subtle changes in your own body, by performing your own energy scan on a regular basis.

As living vehicles for our journey here on earth, our body deserves loving attention and care. We can positively affect our health and contribute to healing any injuries by regularly focusing our own mental and spiritual energy within our body.

This can be done by performing a body scan on yourself, notice your temperature and the temperature in different area’s, systems and organs, you may be aware of colour, a spotlight directing you to a place of awareness, you may hear your inner wisdom offer advice...pay attention to these messages.

Begin by lying or sitting in a comfortable position and taking several deep breaths fully exhaling between each breath.

Imagine, a sunbeam entering the top of your head or it may enter through your toes or fingers.
Feel this light slowly scanning each part of your internal body. Allow the light to scan every cell in your body, breath and when your feel tempted, sigh.

Breath-out any heaviness, any sorrow. Notice changes, lightness or intensity in your body. Sensations vary from person to person. Any intensity, stay with it till it lessens – breathing out sorrow, sadness, heaviness, pain, or unusual colours...sensations vary in each situation.

You may feel a shift in body guidance. If you feel a sticky-ness, tired weariness or restriction in a certain area of your body, be with that mass, feel into it.

Ask your body why that situation is there and what you need to do to release it. Don’t judge, argue or analyze the wisdom that comes to you.
The body doesn't lie...it is wisdom.

Often, we experience energy restriction in our body because our body is trying to tell us something. Breathe into that area until you feel that part relax, flow free or the mass dissolving.

When you have finished your scan, take one last deep breath and exhale any energetic residue that you are ready to release.

Sadness, sickness, turmoil, trauma imbalance that exists in our body is there so that we can learn from that presence. An existing injury or illness can teach us to re-evaluate our lifestyle, thoughts, words, expectations, actions and reactions.

The more you scan your body, the better you will become. If you sense that something is not right in your body, you may want professional help, tell them about your experience. When you have finished your scan, thank your remarkable body.

For further deeper work SELF HEALING IN THETA & DELTA CD available from http://sylviamarina.com/shop

Sylvia Marina

International Author, Speaker, Influencer, Sylvia’s professional background includes Kinesiology, Behavioural Science, Orthomolecular Medicine plus 30 years experience in the Healing Art of Emotional Intelligence empowering people to find their own authenticity, happiness and joy, guiding them through their darker periods with gentleness, love and compassion.

1991-97 I was professionally dedicated to working with cancer patients both in my clinic practice and with a medical team presenting health retreats for cancer patients. Every client I worked with, every course I taught, I discovered no correction is permanent until the underlying emotion is resolved.

It makes no sense to lecture people, my clients know me as the ‘queen of conversation’ who through dialogue, kinesiology techniques, relaxation and specific meditation, assists people to find the episode or genetically inherited pattern that influenced behavior that contributed to illness.

My passion as a natural ‘life skills’ educator is to help people to build their ‘core capacities’, so that they are able to meet un-anticipated challenges and thoughtfully and specifically tailor their responses to individual day to day situations.

It is always my goal to connect you to your inner knowing and understanding, to give you skills to create a life of happiness and harmony and to approach new beginnings with sacred love. Each emotional and spiritual intelligence self mastery program I design, gives you skills that enable you to be all that you can be... and when you arrive at that place you will be ready to discover more.

2018©Sylvia Marina ND.,
The Human Behaviour Specialist for confidential consultations.

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.
ABN 19 724 763 97


Heal Ancestral Wounds

Thursday, March 01, 2018

Heal Ancestral Wounds written by Sylvia Marina ND

Emotional wounds are the most common reasons that physical healing takes so long or fails to fully heal.

When we feel emotional or physical pain, there is a natural reaction to have someone or something to blame.

Where there's an inner wound that has festered, it becomes easy to lash out or have sudden outbursts of anger, hate and resentment.

Yes, even to people who love you, and have done you no harm.

Whether the lashing out was actual verbal or physical, or you just thought about it running the anger scenario in thought through your head, it all carries an energy that brings a disconnection between you and another. The larger truth is that unresolved emotion effects cells, organs and systems in your body becoming a contributing factor to illness and disease.

Our goal is not to forget a hurtful event or trauma, but to resolve and receive healing for that event, where within the chambers of your heart or the system in your body where the emotional toxic venom resides, you remove the stinger. The nobler is not to look for someone/something to blame but rather, identify the problem, and realize the need for understanding and healing.

When we look back upon a healed wound, we can see it in a different way, because it has been healed and is no longer painful and the scar has mended.

When a person is hurt from past abuse, they will begin to think that perhaps what happened to them, was deserved because of something they did or the way that they were. This is not true. Abuse is never acceptable, even if a child was being out of order. Parental love disciplines and corrects, but never abuses. In an ancestral misunderstanding, resentment is sometimes carried for many generations – it is time to resolve before it permanently damages a persons mental process.

Often the wound is a deep felt pain with no actual identifiable story.

When a client brings me this scenario, it’s hard for them to feel loved, difficult to forgive because they don’t know what the problem is. They do know each time a feeling of self hatred or little self worth, hostility, irrational expectations of others, obsessive compulsive bondages of self-resentment, self-unforgiveness arises. It becomes evident it is a deeply held ancestral pattern.

Carrying around a burden of shame hinders the inner healing process because it mentally separates us from the delicate softness of the heart.

It is time to ascertain, who would you be without this story, and then identify the dominant emotion associated with the ancestral pattern of behavior.

To truly heal damaged emotions, stop repetitive patterns of behavior... reconcile and mend, childhood and ancestral history.

Speaker & Human Behaviour Specialist

T: +61 (0) 412 198 612

E: info@sylviamarina.com
W: http://www.sylviamarina.comSkype: sylvia.marina The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.
ABN 19 724 763 97


Wednesday, January 24, 2018

LIFE HEALING – written by Sylvia Marina ND.

You haven’t heard from me for a while – it’s called “life happened”.

Early in December David had a horrid fall resulting in two breaks in his left arm and hand and a bad gash on his head. Day by day his arm and hand is getting stronger. The wound on his head has healed with only a faint hint of a scar but damage to the third Cranial Nerve means rest, time and patient care.

It is the wounds we cannot see that need the deepest longest time to heal.

To me it is a reminder of ‘the work’ I am privileged to bring to the world. Gently guiding people to delve into the deepest, dimensions to heal the broken heart, emotional struggles and hurts.

It’s the delta brainwave energy that results in greatest permanent on-purpose change.

In our work, during integration, rest and refocus, previously suppressed intelligences switch-on.
Physical hurt, emotional wounds, genetically inherited beliefs...when we identify when these energies were infused and why we habitually trigger anger, rage, addictions, then and only then can we activate multi-dimensional healing.

It’s not only those who bear the name of an ancestor that may be carrying the burden of their hurts and misunderstandings.

Delta healing is a natural process it is beyond conscious thought. It is in the deep delta that gene expression can be changed – remember, your DNA (genetic profile) is not your destiny. When fully at-peace with your ancestral connections then you will be on-purpose.

During 2017 I made many new friends. Discovered worlds I’d not previously experienced, plus opened new doors for so many. I feel very blest at the privilege of living my dream. The dream...to journey with spirit, teaching people to care for their own soul and the body that it’s cradled in.

And in journeying I have learnt from each person, every home and family I am so privileged to be a part of – I’m inspired. Previously dormant memories switch on and new awareness regarding cultures (ways of being) sharpen the intelligences. I understand now, I am more than gene expression.

Let go of fear-based stories, which you innocently clung to all your life – living in harmony with yourself is truly joy-expression.

2018© SYLVIA MARINA. ND. Author, Speaker & Human Behaviour Specialist
T: +61 (0) 412 198 612
E: info@sylviamarina.com W: http://www.sylviamarina.com Skype: sylvia.marina 
The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.  ABN 19 724 763 97

ABUSE, Stop It

Tuesday, November 07, 2017

ABUSE, Stop It ...written by Sylvia Marina ND

Thank you to all who wrote following my previous newsletter article titled ‘Sarcasm is Dangerous’.

As a result of so many emails, it prompted me to forward the following post from Ms Leal – I hope it is helpful.

Ms Leal says... “if we speak only from the heart, the tone is automatically softer but many people enter relationships with the sounds of expectation, based on the mind's memory of previous failures, shortcomings and disappointments.

A partner subjected to negative undertones again and again will never feel connected, will lose self esteem and will leave the relationship - either emotionally or physically, or both.

Abuse can be very subtle. Thankfully these situations are often reversible if caught in time and new methods implemented.”

Sylvia writes: It’s been said many times over, its not what we say but the way in which we say it, this includes attitude which is reflected in the tone of the voice.

Relationships are give and take but why do people receiving abuse remain silent and take it again and again? It was only with hindsight that a relationship I treasured, was actually very cruel very abusive, interspersed with great generosity.

People are abusive because they have a subconscious memory or a genetic pattern that shards off like a firecracker or the opposite, the silent treatment is the weapon. People stay in abusive relationships because their self esteem is confused or so battered they lack direction or the ability to make decisions.

They don’t do different because they are afraid – some people become afraid that there will never be a place of peace.

Many stay in dysfunctional relationships because...
1) the sex is good
2) they perceive they have no-where else to go
3) can’t see how to financially manage
4) when times are good it’s very, very good

Abuse is mentally and emotionally very cruel – it impairs decision making process. If you are the receiver of abuse or the one who abuses or as in some cases the receiver and abuser – it is time to implement change.

Abuse occurs when people mistreat other people, showing no concern for their innate worth as individuals. Abusers use abusive behaviour to manipulate their victims into compliance with their will.

Seriously I want to empower people to make change and direct you to our MASTERCLASS – Getting The Love You Want – so you can learn how you can help people make the change, get the love and life they truly want.

I am professionally equipped to identify abuse and abusive behaviour. I can help You.

Speaker, Educator & Human Behaviour Specialist T: +61 (0) 412 198 612

E: info@sylviamarina.com
W:http://www.sylviamarina.comSkype: sylvia.marina The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included.
ABN 19 724 763 97


Saturday, October 28, 2017

SARCASM IS DANGEROUS ... written by Sylvia Marina ND.

Just because it doesn’t leave physical bruises or broken bones, doesn’t mean it isn’t abuse. We usually think of abusive relationships as black eyes and broken noses but abuse isn’t limited to physical trauma. Psychological scars are hard to identify. People with painful scars from abusive relationships come to me almost everyday – the basis of ‘lacking confidence and anxiety’ is often founded in psychological scars. Its not just in the school playground or workplace that bullying happens, it happens in the so-called, ‘love and security’ of relationships, in a minority of cases some are self-inflicted. With or without alcohol stimuli, it happens.

  • Belittling and pointing out their faults to friends
  • Yelling because something didn’t happen at the expected time
  • Demeaning because they’re not passionate about your sport or interest
  • Calling them stupid or making fun or a mistake
  • Demoralising, calling them lazy because their relax is to rest
  • Being emotionally manipulative, sulking or crying to get what you want
  • Demanding they share their password with you
  • Accusing you of not trusting them
  • Forcing you to kiss them in public when you don’t kiss privately
  • Demanding there is no choice if it doesn’t include both of you

As well as similar interests it is the differences that attract us to each other. Intimidating their culture, colour or creed... does not endear, it creates a splinter that develops into a wedge that becomes a chasm.

Whether the relationship is intimate or a sibling, work colleague, or the one you gave birth to, encourage each other’s strengths, even the tiniest of strengths and talents – no matter what age belittling and sarcasm is not a leadership competency, it degrades trust and leaves the victim and witness’s to the occasion looking for the nearest escape route.

Sarcasm is dangerous. If you shame a person when you have positional power, you put them in a difficult flight, fight or freeze position. In time they will power their-self into one or other of these actions flight, fight or freeze. Fight or flight becomes evident to freeze is silent resulting in internal wrath which converts into immune system stress and debilitating disease.

Sarcasm produces the opposite from what you want. Initially you might have someone stop doing something by shaming them, but sarcasm never creates a new positive behaviour.

Consistent sarcasm creates an atmosphere where no one will try a new idea.
The risk of failure and incurring shame is too great. Sarcasm and humour at another’s expense creates doubt, negative energy and destroys trust.

Change! Personal Growth yourself, re-educating, encouraging the heart produces different behaviours, different strengths, and different outcomes. Create your list of values – define your core values and live them.

2017© SYLVIA MARINA. ND.Author, Speaker & Human Behaviour Specialist
T: +61 (0) 412 198 612
E: info@sylviamarina.com
W: http://www.sylviamarina.com Skype: sylvia.marina

The contents of this article may be copied, reproduced or freely distributed without the consent of the author provided the author's name, copyright notice and contact information are included. ABN 19 724 763 97

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